From Colonel to Civilian: What I’ve Learned About Life After the Military

When I retired from the Air Force after 29 years of service, I thought I had it figured out. I’d led squadrons and groups, managed global operations, earned three master’s degrees, and mentored hundreds of troops. Transitioning to civilian life? I assumed it would be like any other PCS — just with less paperwork.

I was wrong.

Retirement didn’t hit me all at once. It crept in quietly — in the still mornings with no briefings, in the silence of a calendar that didn’t need me to show up in uniform. For the first time in my adult life, I had no orders, no battle rhythm, and no built-in purpose.

And that’s when the real work began.

🎖️ The Shift No One Prepares You For

In the military, we are taught to lead, follow, adapt, and overcome. But we’re rarely taught how to let go. How to redefine ourselves when the rank is gone, when the calls stop coming, when you’re not “Colonel So-and-So” anymore — you’re just “Gary.”

That’s not a small thing. For many of us, our identity is wrapped around our service. When that’s gone, it’s easy to feel... unmoored. Like a ship no longer tethered to a mission.

But here’s what I’ve learned: retirement isn’t the end of the mission — it’s the start of a new one.

🛠️ Lessons I’ve Learned Since Hanging Up the Uniform

1. You need purpose — but it doesn’t have to look the same.

Purpose used to mean leading troops or solving logistics problems halfway around the world. Now, it means writing, mentoring, and helping other veterans navigate what I had to figure out the hard way. Purpose evolves — and that’s okay.

2. Structure still matters.

You may never miss staff meetings, but don’t underestimate how much a clear schedule gave you stability. Find your new rhythm. Whether it’s tennis, volunteering, or learning piano like I’m trying to do — build something consistent into your days.

3. Don’t ignore your spirit.

My biggest transformation didn’t happen in uniform — it happened during COVID, when I began to deeply question what I believed. I realized my relationship with God was bigger than the church I grew up in. That journey, while deeply personal, made me more whole. And it’s one reason I created this site — to give space for the conversations we often avoid in military circles.

4. Use your experience, but don’t cling to your rank.

Your military experience is valuable — but it’s not your whole story. Civilians may not understand what you did or how much you carried. That’s okay. You’re not here to impress — you’re here to live. Learn the new language. Stay humble. Teach when asked.

✈️ You Still Get to Fly

If you’re a veteran reading this, maybe you’ve felt it too — that quiet question of “Who am I now?” It’s a question I’m still answering. But I can tell you this: life on this side of service can be full, meaningful, and even fun.

You just need the space to figure it out — and that’s what 1 Ebony Eagle is all about.

I hope you’ll stick around. Share your story. Find a hobby. Rethink your faith. Book that trip. Or just breathe for a while and enjoy the fact that you've earned this part of the journey.

Let’s fly forward — together.

📬 Want More?

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